How to Cross the Dark Divide in Your Relationship? 

Do you want to strengthen your relationship? Then cross that great, dark divide.

If you sense there is a gap between you and your spouse, then you have to overcome that slippery hollow. Or when you often find yourself and your loved one in a love-hate collision, decide to deal with it now or regret later.

Here are some steps to start with.

1. Care Enough For Each Other.

When you truly love someone, you always care to see their greatest and highest good.

If a person is very selfish, he or she doesn’t care about how the other person feels, thinks or does. When there is no sense of care and responsibility in a relationship, it easily disconnects and dies.

For every relationship to flourish, building bridges of love, developing kindness of heart, and paying attention to one’s thoughts, feelings, and actions are a must.

Whatever is not right between that relationship must be corrected, healed, and recovered.

2. Communicate Well.

The mother of all misunderstanding is miscommunication.

There were times my wife and I have slight misunderstandings. We learned that it was due to miscommunication.

I tend to say, “I think the issue is…” However, she often sees things differently when she says, “This is what I feel about it.” Have you noticed how as a man I used “thinking” while my wife views things from what she is “feeling”?

If I communicate and only use my objectivity and my wife uses her intuitive subjectivity, we both could be in trouble. We just have to communicate on the same wavelength and find the balance.

In fact, several times I was decisively in trouble because I failed to listen to my wife. Why? Because God wired us differently to complement each other, not to compete with one another.

As such, we have to develop our communication skills positively.

3. Commit To That Relationship. 

Lasting relationships are bound by commitment. You have to stick together (not hold a stick against each other). This doesn’t mean cold commitment. In fact, the opposite is true.

Couples who are fully committed to each other are happier than those who are not.

When a person knows that his or her partner is committed to their relationship, there is less worry, no jealousy, more security, and crystal clear transparency between them.

If you are committed to your relationship, then you must decide and do whatever it takes to keep it strong, secure, and substantial. Shallow relationships easily break apart.

Be transparent. If you cannot talk about your past mistakes and secrets with ease and comfort, then the dark side or spot of your relationship is still present. Be careful for darkness as it contains a lot of things you are most likely afraid of.

Why still live in fear and darkness when you can live the fullness of love and get closer to each other?

As St. Paul says, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

Glenn Plastina (c) 2017

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