How to Make New–and More–Friends? 

I love making new friends. As long as you have the time to be out there reaching out to someone, you can make friends. And I have great friends all these years.

Making friends is more than getting to know someone’s name or phone number.Here are my three little secrets in making more friends that you can do too–even more!

Here are my three little secrets in making more friends that you can do too–even more!

1. Smile.

You can make friends everywhere, be it in a hospital, church, club, volunteer group, sports team or in bus, plane, bank, cafe, and the like.

You can make friends everywhere, be it in a hospital, church, club, volunteer group, sports team or in bus, plane, bank, cafe, and the like. Now I’m not talking about

Now I’m not talking about some nervous smile or that wide commercialized grin at a fast-food chain, but in making new friends you need a genuine one. Be warm and pleasant.

Make eye contact, be mindful of your body language for they speak before you talk.

2. Start Small To Share.

Overcome your fear by making a small step. This is not public speaking, but you can’t make friends without talking.

Break the ice. Say “hello” or “good morning” and the like. If the person responds, you’ll know by the tone of their voice, facial expressions, and body language if they’re interested in interacting with you.

If you sense that the person is not interested, don’t be pushy or rude.

Compliment something positive about them or comment on something interesting that the two of you might share. Don’t flatter but show genuine interest and appreciation.

Ask simple and questions answerable by “yes.” As you progress, share something about yourself and listen more as they share about themselves, their family, and work.

Sharing must be mutual. It’s about both of you. Be truthful and trustworthy. Any signs of inconsistencies in your words creates distrust. Make a healthy level of trust, but don’t be naive.

3. Show Them You Care.

Making friends is more effective if you show that you genuinely care about them, their ideas, and interests. You’ve got to respect their unique qualities.

Affirm what’s good and in matters where you have opposite ideas, instead of saying, “you’re wrong,” say, “that’s interesting, can you tell me more about that?” On this, don’t be judgmental, argumentative or critical.

In fact, if you practice the discipline of listening with love and understanding, you’ll win more friends. You don’t have to be an expert on everything in loving listening.

Be an encouragement as you connect with genuine interest. If it’s in your power to help, do so.

For me, helping others solve their problems is one way of making lasting friends. Being there when they need you the most demands an investment of time, resources, and effort. But it’s worth in building closer friends.

As the Hebrew proverb says, “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

After any given time you started well, decide if the friendship is simply a casual hi-bye or it will blossom into mutual one or, better, a close friendship. Keep in touch.

If you master the art of making friends, here’s a promise. The “one who loves a pure heart and who speaks with grace will have the king for a friend.” Will you be the one?

After all has been said and done, the secret of making friends is you being friendly.

Glenn Plastina (c) 2017

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